The Tourist is Toast Read online

  The Tourist is Toast

  A Humorous Paranormal Cozy Mystery

  Carly Winter

  Edited by

  Divas at Work Editing

  Cover by

  CoveredbyMelinda.com

  Westward Publishing / Carly Fall, LLC

  Copyright © 2021 by Carly Winter

  All rights reserved.

  No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  This is a work of fiction. Unless otherwise indicated, all the names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents in this book are either the product of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

  Cover by: CoveredbyMelinda.com

  Contents

  The Tourist is Toast

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Epilogue

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  Also by Carly Winter

  About the Author

  The Tourist is Toast

  A tourist is shoved from a cliff. It’s up to an unruly ghost to solve the murder.

  * * *

  When Bernie and her ghostly grandmother, Ruby, witness the killing of a tourist from a far, they find themselves ensnared in a vengeful group of suspects, each having an excellent motive for pushing the man to his death.

  * * *

  Deputy Adam Gallagher has been assigned to solve the case. The problem? No one is talking. When Ruby approaches Bernie with a secret plan to nail the murderer and help Adam, Bernie reluctantly agrees.

  * * *

  As Bernie and Ruby do their part to assist Adam, Bernie realizes the case is far more complicated than anyone thought. Unraveling it may put them all in danger. Can she find the murderer and get the dead man justice before the killer gets to her first?

  Chapter One

  What should one wear to meet a ghost for the first time?

  The question spun in my mind as I stared at the eighties T-shirts hanging in my closet. Was I in a Back to the Future mood? Or The Breakfast Club?

  “Hurry up, Bernie,” my dead grandmother’s ghost said from the kitchen. “We’re going to be late!”

  With a sigh, I grabbed The Breakfast Club and pulled it over my head, then hurried into the bathroom to run a brush through my hair.

  “Bernie!”

  “I’m coming, Ruby! Quit hassling me! You’re stressing me out!”

  She muttered something about everything in my life causing me anxiety, and she wasn’t wrong. I tended to be a worrier.

  When I found my reflection presentable, I walked out to the kitchen, where Ruby waited for me. About my height, her slim ghostly form was covered in a purple mumu, her long gray hair parted down the middle and held at the nape in a ponytail.

  “Let’s go!” she said, turning on her heel and racing toward the front door. “I have a good vibe about today!”

  I wish I shared her enthusiasm. Frankly, I could barely handle dealing with one ghost, and the thought of being able to see and communicate with two seemed so far out of my realm of comfort, it made me uneasy.

  This was our fourth time going to Deputy Adam Gallagher’s condominium to attempt to find his ghost. Well, he didn’t know if he truly had one, but he did have a strong hunch, as well as a belief that Ruby and I would be able to coax the entity out of hiding. We hadn’t exactly been successful.

  “I feel like we need outfits for our ghost hunting,” Ruby said. “Like they had in Ghostbusters. Except overalls aren’t very flattering. Maybe something that shows a little leg and cleavage, though.”

  And she wouldn’t be able to wear said outfit. She’d died in her purple mumu and that was apparently how she’d spend eternity.

  “Are we walking again?” Ruby asked, her voice tinted with a slight whine.

  “Yes,” I replied as I locked the front door to my bed and breakfast. “I need the exercise.”

  “That’s what you always say.”

  “That’s because it’s true,” I muttered. My jeans had begun to feel a little tight. I blamed my new love of sugary treats from Sarah’s Smoothies.

  “You aren’t fat, honey,” Ruby said.

  “Not yet, anyway,” I mumbled. “That’s what I’m trying to prevent. Let’s go.”

  While I was apprehensive of meeting the ghost supposedly residing at Adam’s house, Ruby seemed to be quite excited by the prospect. I wasn’t sure if it was because going to Adam’s meant she got to leave my bed and breakfast, or if she really wanted to meet another entity like her.

  Unfortunately, she couldn’t move beyond the walls of my home without me. Neither of us could explain it, but there was some sort of tether that bound us together—while inside the house, she wandered freely, including to a place she called her tunnel. I had no way to access it, but from her description, it sounded like some sort of gateway to heaven. She’d come to the conclusion they wouldn’t let her in, which didn’t surprise me. Ruby had lived a pretty rambunctious life, and she may not be considered heavenly material.

  As I walked down the street, Ruby floated next to me humming a Rolling Stones tune. She skipped and twirled around, not having a care in the world. Understandable, considering she was dead. She’d had very few concerns while alive, and the afterlife had brought the number down to a hard zero.

  “Summer’s coming!” she sang as we arrived at Adam’s complex. “Time to slip into the old bikini and check out the college hotties at Slide Rock!”

  That’s what she would have done while alive. Being in my mid-thirties, ‘college hotties’ were not on my radar. Ogling young men seemed wrong on many levels and definitely had a high eww factor. I had nothing in common with an eighteen-year-old, and I certainly didn’t want to spend my days pounding down beers.

  Besides, I now tried to avoid the summer sun as much as I could. Temperatures would soar into the high nineties in Sedona, Arizona, which was nothing compared to the earth-scorching heat down in the valley. The Phoenix area was well-known for their three-digit temperatures during the summer months. However, I tended to burn fairly easily, so I tried to hide from the sun as much as possible. Skin cancer, wrinkles… I did my best to escape fun things like that.

  “I’ll be staying indoors, thank you,” I said. “I don’t need to get another burn in my lifetime.”

  “That’s what suntan lotion is for!” Ruby replied.

  “I don’t want skin cancer.”

  “Oh, jeez, Bernie,” Ruby muttered while we approached Adam’s door. “What in the world am I going to do with you?”

  Ignoring her, I ran a hand over my hair and quickly wiped away the beads of sweat that had gathered on my brow before knocking.

  “Fine. Pay me no attention,” she said, then ghosted right through the door. She wouldn’t go far because of our tether, but I heard her yelling.

  “Come on out, you big, wimpy jerk!”

  If Adam did have a spirit in his house, Ruby was apparently done trying to kindly coax it out as she had before and had resorted to name calling.

  I sighed as Adam opened the door. “
Hey,” he said, glancing all around me while running a hand through his blond hair. “Is she here?”

  He meant Ruby, of course. “Yes. She’s behind you, yelling for your ghost to show herself. Or himself.”

  Adam glanced over his shoulder then waved me in. “I didn’t smell her.”

  No one but me could hear or see Ruby, but an encounter was usually accompanied by the scent of lavender and marijuana, which happened to be exactly what Ruby had smelled like while alive.

  “You’re an even worse ghost than me!” Ruby continued as she spun around in a circle with her hands on her hips. “At least I don’t hide in a corner like a frightened little puppy!”

  “What’s she saying?” Adam asked as his gaze flittered around the room.

  “She’s basically calling him or her a wimp.”

  Adam furrowed her brow. “That’s not exactly friendly. I hope it doesn’t make the ghost upset.”

  “Loser! Come out, loser!”

  “It will probably be quite upset,” I said, crossing my arms over my chest as Ruby continued to yell at the ghost. If there truly was one.

  I’d had a secret crush on Adam for months and we were finally getting to know each other. Never once did I consider that he would want me and Ruby to help him flush out a ghost from his condo, but there I stood. When he first approached me with the idea of us helping him, he’d claimed things in his apartment were moved around. I’d yet to witness any happenings, but I also didn’t know if I would be able to actually see the ghost. After all, I hadn’t been able to see Ruby until I’d been hit by lightning and knocked out cold.

  As Ruby continued to scream insults, Adam and I looked around the tidy living room for some sign of her abuse being effective. I appreciated his panache for cleanliness as my OCD kicked in at the sight of messes. Even the pillows had been lined up nicely on the brown leather couch and the books sat in the bookcase according to height. I’d never mentioned anything, yet I couldn’t help but wonder if he had a bit of OCD himself.

  “Do you see anything?” he whispered.

  I shook my head.

  “Come over here, Bernie,” Ruby said. “Maybe the wuss is hiding in the bedrooms.”

  Since Ruby couldn’t go more than fifteen feet away from me when not in our house, I followed her down the hall so she could hurl insults at the bedroom walls.

  “Has she found him?” Adam asked, trailing behind me.

  “No. She’s looking, though. She thinks he’s in the back.”

  We’d been through this before the last three times we visited. After the second time, I had my doubts about the ghost. After the third, I considered the whole exercise a waste of time. Yet, it gave me an excuse to be with Adam, so I’d keep coming as long as he wanted us there.

  Ruby entered his bedroom and began to search under the forest-green bedspread and in the closet while Adam and I stood in the doorway. I sighed when she began to shout into the closet.

  “Is she at it again?” Adam asked.

  “Yes. If I were your ghost, I wouldn’t show myself either.”

  Adam chuckled, his blue eyes seeming to sparkle as he stared at me. “Listen, I have tomorrow off, and I was wondering if you’d be interested in going on a hike or an ATV ride.”

  My heart thundered as Ruby came out of the closet. Time alone with Adam? Sign me up!

  “You can’t go, Bernie,” Ruby said. “Remember you’re worried about sunburns?”

  I ignored her and smiled. “I’d love to. I’m game for either, so you choose which you’d prefer.”

  Ruby snorted and crossed her arms over her chest. “So I guess you’re willing to get sunburn for him, but not for me? You’d choose a cop over me? Over hunky college boys?”

  “Maybe an ATV ride?” Adam said, brushing his hand over my bare arm and sending goosebumps over my skin.

  “If you go on an ATV ride, you need to take me!” Ruby said. “You know I love the ATV!”

  Of course I was aware of that. I remembered tearing through town on her ATV she’d named Flash when I’d come and spend the summers with her as a kid and young teen.

  “An ATV ride sounds great,” I said.

  “Bernie, take me!” Ruby said, dropping to her knees and holding her hands in a prayer position, her ghost-hunting forgotten. “Please, please, pretty please!”

  I glanced down at her and then back at Adam, torn. My gut said to leave her at home, but my heart told me to invite her. She’d spent three years after her death on this plane without being seen, without being able to leave our house. Neither of us understood why she was trapped, and I felt bad for her.

  And honestly, I didn’t think I could take the guilt trip she’d lay on me.

  “Would you mind if Ruby came along?” I asked, my cheeks flaming with embarrassment. It wasn’t every day I asked if I could bring my dead grandmother’s ghost on a date.

  Adam laughed again and nodded. “That’s fine. I remember you telling me she likes ATVs.”

  Ruby jumped to her feet. “Woohoo!” I tried to ignore her dancing. “Thanks, honey!” she said. “Even though rule number five of life is to never date a cop, this one may not be too bad.”

  I pursed my lips together to hide my smile.

  “What did she say?” Adam asked, narrowing his gaze as he stared into the bedroom. “I wish I could see and hear her.”

  Ruby walked over and stood about a foot away from Adam. “Yeah, he may be a keeper. You have to watch him. In my experience, cops are bad news boyfriends.”

  While alive, Ruby had dated Adam’s boss, Sheriff Bruce Walker. Considering her enjoyment of illegal activities, the relationship hadn’t been smooth and joyous.

  “It doesn’t look like your ghost is going to make an appearance,” I said. “Do you want to go grab a cup of coffee?”

  “I’d like that, but I do need to get to work,” Adam replied, taking my hand in his. “Rain check?”

  “Sure thing.”

  “Let’s get out of here,” Ruby said. “I think old lover boy here is making this stuff up so he can get you in the sack. I don’t think this ghost is real.”

  Rolling my eyes, I turned to head down the hallway when a blast of cold air hit my back. As I glanced into the bedroom, a book rose from the bookcase and flew across the room, missing Ruby by inches. It hit me square in the forehead.

  Stunned for a brief second, I gasped and glanced at the bookcase, then my knees gave out. Just as I sank to the carpet, I heard a man’s voice… one that didn’t belong to Adam. “Of course I’m real, you obnoxious banshee.”

  As Adam helped me to my feet, I studied his bedroom, looking for the offending spirit.

  “Sorry about that,” the voice said. “I hit the wrong one. My apologies, miss.”

  “Did you hear that?” I whispered.

  “Was he saying he meant for the book to hit me?” Ruby asked.

  I nodded as Adam said, “I didn’t hear a thing, but the book… jeez, Bernie. Are you okay?” He led me over to the bed and I sat down, my breath coming in short spurts as my gaze darted around the room while he touched my forehead. “You aren’t bleeding, but it looks like you’re going to have a bruise.”

  “You definitely have a ghost,” I said. “And yes, Ruby, that book was meant for you.”

  “I’m sorry you got hit, Bernie,” she said with a chuckle. “But at least we know this place is haunted.”

  “Let me get you some ice,” Adam said, rushing from the room.

  “Who are you?” Ruby yelled. “Show yourself, you coward! Throwing books at young women… what the heck is wrong with you? Come out here so I can shove this book right up your—”

  “It’s okay, Ruby,” I said. “Please don’t agitate him any further.”

  “Are you sure? Because I’d love nothing more than to feed him my knuckle sandwich.” She made two fists and held them up, boxer style.

  “Yes. Please, just sit down.”

  I patted the bed next to me and she hurried over.

  “Are y
ou sure you’re okay, Bernie?”

  “I’ll be fine.”

  Adam rushed in as a headache began to form.

  “Lie down,” he instructed. “We can place the icepack right across your forehead.”

  I shut my eyes when my head hit the mattress. The coolness of the icepack calmed my throbbing head and nerves.

  After a few minutes, I decided I’d go to sleep if I didn’t get moving. “Thanks for this,” I said, sitting up and handing Adam the icepack.

  “I’m sorry this happened to you,” he said. “The ghost has never done anything… violent before.”

  “It wasn’t your fault,” I replied, my gaze sliding pointedly over to Ruby. “I think he was badgered just a little too much.”

  “He?”

  “Yes,” I replied. “It’s a male.”

  “I wouldn’t have had to do that if he’d shown himself the first three times we came over here,” Ruby said with a huff. “I’m all about getting results. The definition of stupidity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different turnout. I had to up my ghost-busting game a little. It was a tactical change.”

  “Are you sure you’re okay?” Adam asked.

  My head spun a little as I rose from the bed. “I’ll be fine.”

  “Do you still want to go tomorrow? If not, I understand.”

  No, there would be no canceling our date. “Of course I want to go. I’m excited.”

  He continued to apologize while we walked to the front door.

  “Adam, please. It’s okay. I’m going to be fine. At least we know you aren’t losing your mind and you do indeed have a ghost.”